Have you ever wondered how ‘lucky Suzie’, as she is known, made it to director level at such a young age? What does she have that you don’t? You have the same skills set; you’re well educated; in fact, better educated than she is! Yet you are still in the lowest levels of management which you made by the skin of your teeth. You work all the hours and have a plethora of ideas and strategies to offer the company to meet their big vision; yet you are thwarted and stuck on a lowly rung of the promotion ladder. Why?
Why does she have the luck of the gods and the charm of a great leader every time she encounters someone? A sneaky thought creeps into the greener side of your brain; who did she blackmail, bribe or creep up to, to keep hitting people’s sweet spots you wonder? You concede, however, eventually, that she just ‘has it’ whatever ‘it’ is!
Well, you too can have ‘it’! That elusive cloud of charisma that seems to follow so called ‘lucky’ people around. The aura of greatness that enables these lucky people to build fantastic and valuable rapport and relationships with key internal and external stakeholders, which in turn elevates their profile in the company and industry. They are not just lucky; they have skills that you can learn. Listen up; it’s all possible.
Our ability to build relationships depends on a number of things, but predominantly it is the sometimes imperceptible, due diligence work we carry out before we even open our mouths to speak to someone, we want to build rapport with.
Building key relationships inside and outside your organisation is key to success for a number of reasons. You can learn off people more expert than you; they are usually happy to help those who look for it, and you can become more ‘visible’ in the eyes of those who can help you climb that slippery ladder to success.
So, what can you do to attract the right audience and attention? What you ‘say’ to people on this journey is obviously key, but you already know what you want to articulate, but you just need to get to first base and make the connections.
Charismatic people ooze confidence. They also look their best and make a vital good first impression, within seconds! Yes, seconds, you heard right. It takes no more than seven seconds to get someone’s attention in a good way, so make sure you do it right.
Before your big moments of connection, I assume already that you have done your homework on the style of communication your target prefers for initial contact. That is, which medium should you approach them with? Internal media, email, telephone, or direct approach when you know where they are likely to be? Choose one they prefer to ease their comfort and professional preferences for initial contact.
You will, of course, have already considered what you want to talk to them about! What help or advice you would like and why? What information can you give to them that might be of value in your discussion, or simply what initiatives or strategies you have thought of that add to their remit and role in the organisation? There are tons of good reasons to contact people of influence. They will appreciate your initiative and bravado.
OK, so what are the steps you need to take to create this confidence and charisma now to ease your way into beneficial relationships that get you seen and heard? How do you get lucky? Here are a few must-do’s that should help, in simple terms.
1. Get into ‘State’ – By this I mean get into the right mindset before you approach your target! Pull a superman or superwoman pose in the mirror for a minute for confidence and high-energy or take a moment to breathe deeply or meditate to build up your confidence pre-move.
2. Personal Image – Brush up on your own personal image and credibility factor before you make your move. Even if your first approach is not directly face-to-face, looking the part, means ‘feeling’ the part and adds to confidence. Stand up straight and be commanding and in control; not wimpy and lily-livered. A confident professional approach is key to your command of the situation as well as how you look to them.
3. Mode of Communication – Use what you have discovered is their preferred initial mode of communication. i.e., Do they prefer a direct approach, or via messenger of some sort, or via their P.A., etc. Get into their comfort zone initially and smooth your pathway to that first meet.
4. Preparation – Think about what you want from this well before you make your approach. Ensure you know what your agenda is first. Do you wish to impart information, initiatives, or ideas to them that you have researched they would find interesting or useful? Or do you want help or advice, in which case exactly what on?
5. Clarity & Conciseness – This is key when networking busy bee people! Keep it short, and concise and easily digestible. Avoid rambling on. Steady your nerves in advance (see step one) and make it simple for someone to know what you want or mean when you meet or talk.
6. Mirror Them – We all like people who are like us! This is a subliminal form of communication that almost mimics their tone of voice, their body language and their mode of dress that somehow puts an invisible comfort factor into your communication. (This one is not so easy. Let us know if you want some help with this! It is a valuable technique)
7. Engagement – Be enthusiastic! Talk with your hands and smile! Use all of those presentation skills you have acquired and listen intently, and when it is your turn, speak slowly, clearly and concisely.
8. Respect – In the gadget-lined world we live in, it is all too easy to get distracted by a text ping or an email swooshing into your inbox. Put it away! Pay attention to the person/people you are trying to engage with! Attentiveness pays huge dividends plus your focus will ensure you listen and learn.
9. Body Language – Watch your body language! Stand or sit up straight. Make eye contact. Ensure you shake hands firmly and not the limp lettuce, wet fish shake that is so off-putting. A confident open stance with plenty of smiles and a clear enthusiastic tone is key to engagement.
10. Follow up! – So, you’ve done your research and do your prep. You put yourself into the right state of mind. You had a message to impart of some sort that would help them or you. You set up the meeting or are just ensuring you are more visible and have conducted yourself charismatically and confidently. You’re on fire! But hold on, you are not done yet! Follow up any interaction with more communication. A follow-up after the fact or a thank you if appropriate with the people you are aiming to connect with or reach. Preferably both! Know when you give them space, but build that relationship slowly but surely, if appropriate. Keep yourself professionally, in their mind’s eye. Remain visible and ensure you are professional and polite or simply useful!
Charisma and confidence are critical to success. We run coaching programmes on this to help you move forwards and upwards.
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Contact us now for more information and help on this now and climb that ladder with confidence! info@kudoscoachinggroup.com or call us on 07967 606005.